World Vegan Congress

von Barkle’s Surreal Interview

Feb. 17, 2020 4:00 pm ET

Vegan Joke

Overheard Conversations » von Barkle » World Vegan Congress
Doctor von Barkle mistakenly confesses at the Vegan World Congress that he loves chicken tacos

VeganDoctor von Barkley, we were thrilled to learn you were vegan and wanted to advance the welfare of animals around the world.  

von Barkle – I feel it is my duty, oui? Animals for me is not just work and science, but a spiritual journey where each of us shares the same life on the same planet. I know there are reports it is just a social satire webcomic or just some short funny comics but no, it is very serious. 

Vegan – What brought you into the vegan lifestyle? Was there some tipping point? 

von Barkle – I was chatting up some cows and they felt strongly that carnivores were murderers. Actually, they said mooderers, but I got the point. Holstein’s have a thick accent, you know? They are right of course. Nobody has the right to take the life of another. Unless it is like a marshmallow. Which technically I’ve burned several to death, and then eaten whole. I guess in some respects I’ve done my share of murdering marshmallows. But I don’t think they should count.

Vegan – I’m a little bashful to admit this, but you’re a hero of mine.  

von Barkle – Really? That is very kind of you to say. I don’t feel like a hero. 

Vegan – What are some of your favorite vegan dishes

von Barkle – I’m a simple man. Usually I’ll just have some tacos de pollo, or maybe a carnitas burrito. 

Vegan – What? 

von Barkle – I recently discovered Mexican food and it is delicious! I go to a small taqueria near my laboratory. I love pollo tacos. 

Vegan – But, um, you said you were vegan. 

von Barkle – I am. 

Vegan – Yet you eat chicken tacos? 

von Barkle – No, sorry, you misheard me. Pollo tacos. 

Vegan – But pollo means chicken in Spanish. 

von Barkle – No. 

Vegan – Yes. 

von Barkle – I had always wondered why I was so fond of chickens… Tell me, does carnitas also have an English translation? My French is fluent, but I am not that conversant in English or, it seems, Spanish. 

Vegan – Pig. Is this a vegan joke? it’s not funny sir.

von Barkle – Oh dear. Well, it now has become awkward, no? 

Vegan – We’re not a group that appreciates your dark surreal humor, Doctor. We’re withdrawing our endorsement. And this interview is over. 

von Barkle – Join me for a carne tostada before you go?

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